Texte de 20 lignes en anglais à checker, SVP :)

Discussion dans 'Etudes' créé par buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009.

  1. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    je dois envoyer un mail à un prof pour faire mon mémoire avec lui. C'est un texte de 20 lignes pour résumer mon projet. Apparemment on sera triés sur le volet donc jvous mets le texte ici, si vous pouviez checker pour des fautes que j'aurais loupé ce serait sympa ( et si vous avez une idée pour améliorer le contenu hésitez pas, mais c'est avant tout pour les fautes)

    Dear Mr. Latré,

    Being currently a MULT21 student, I would like to write my dissertation under your direction. I understand it has to be a comparative study of the ways different newspapers from English-speaking countries have written about a subject that concerns the United Kingdom, the United States, or Ireland.

    I thought the Treaty of Lisbon would be a good topic, as it created controversy at the moment of its ratification in several European countries, namely in Ireland, which intially refused to sign the treaty in 2008.

    I would start by explaining the history and the content of the treaty, along with its implications for the inhabitants of Europe.

    Then, I would divide my work in three parts. In the first part, I would look for articles in various Irish newspapers dating from before the first referendum in Ireland, and compare their views on it. I could try to draw parallels between their opinion and their political orientation. I would also try to see how they may have influenced the Irish citizens in their decision to reject the treaty.

    In the second part, I would analyze more recent Irish newspapers and compare them to the older ones, to see what has changed between 2007 and 2009 in the opinion of the Irish media. I assumed that the economic crisis may have influenced the decision of the people so I could follow that track and try to find a link between these events.

    In the third part, I would collect articles from British newspapers and analyze them to see if they were more favorable to the treaty than in Ireland, as the country has always been eurosceptical. I would also compare the content of the articles depending on whether the newspapers are left- or right-wing orientated, as I would do with Ireland. I would also work chronologically.

    I could also briefly approach the tendencies in other European countries, but that might be a little off subject.

    The aim of my work would thus be to try to identify general trends in newspapers depending on the moment, the country, the political orientation of these papers, and events such as the economic crisis.

    I thank you for your attention and I hope that my proposition will retain your attention.

    Best regards,

    buchiste (pour vous)

    En vous remerciiiant :proud:
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #1
  2. Offline
    Sigmund Philololologue
    Dear Mr. Latré, // Soit M.; soit Mr: pas de point après le "r". Le point, tout comme le "r", sont là pour "fermer le mot"

    Being currently a MULT21 student, I would like to write my dissertation under your direction. I understand it has to be a comparative study of the ways different newspapers from English-speaking countries have written about a subject that concerns the United Kingdom, the United States, or Ireland. // Currently being (je dirais, pour le style). Sinon, réduire le paragraphe, non? On nous a tjs appris: "short, sharp, to the point". dissertation, ou master thesis? J'irais plutôt sur le deuxième. I understand it should consist of vs it has to be?

    I thought the Treaty of Lisbon would be a good topic, as it created controversy at the moment of its ratification in several European countries// as its ratification created controversy in severeal European countries POINT., namely in Ireland, which intially refused to sign the treaty in 2008.// Ireland's initial refusal to sign the treaty generated an international diplomatic argument that has been reported in several newspapers.

    My thesis would be started by an attempt at explaining the history and the content of the treaty, along with its implications for the inhabitants of Europe.

    Then, I would divide my work in three parts. In the first part, I would look for articles in various Irish newspapers dating from before the first referendum in Ireland, and compare their views on it. I could try to draw parallels between their opinion and their political orientation. I would also try to see how they may have influenced the Irish citizens in their decision to reject the treaty.

    In the second part, I would analyze more recent Irish newspapers and compare them to the older ones, in order to see what has changed between 2007 and 2009 in the opinion of the Irish media. I assumed that the economic crisis may have influenced the decision of the people so I could follow that track and try to find a link between these events.

    In the third part, I would collect articles from British newspapers and analyze them to see if they were more favorable to the treaty than in Ireland, as//since the country has always been eurosceptical. I would also compare the content of the articles depending on whether the newspapers are left- or right-wing orientated//je mettrais oriented, mais les deux sont tout à fait corrects, as I would do// would have done with Ireland. I would also work chronologically.

    I could also briefly approach the tendencies in other European countries, but that might be a little
    off subject//off-topic. Je mettrais pas cette phrase.. ("je pourrais, mais en fait non")

    The aim of my work would thus be to try to identify general trends in newspapers depending on the moment, the country, the political orientation of these papers, and events such as the economic crisis.

    I thank you for your attention and I hope that my proposition/project will retain your attention.

    Best regards,



    Voilà!

    En gros: en orange, mes propositions (niveau "style")
    En vert: ce qui selon moi cloche niveau du style, mais que je ne sais pas "traduire" comme ça"
    En rouge: une faute :x
    Sigmund, 11 Novembre 2009
    #2
  3. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    wow merci pour ton temps mec !

    comme tu dis, j'ai viré quasi tout le premier paragraphe. On sait tout les deux ce que doit être le sujet du mémoire :p

    j'ai repris tout ton deuxieme, la classe , et le passif du 3eme, cool aussi.

    je garde dissertation par contre, c'est le mot qu'ils utilisent en général chez nous.

    pour "the opinion of the media" j'ai quand meme 10 000 000 de résultats sur google donc je garde :p

    pour la fin avec off topic c'est surtout pour atteindre les 20 lignes, mais ça peut eventuellement etre une bonne idée, qui sait.

    sinon j'ai suivi à peu pres tous tes conseils, merci beaucoup !
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #3
  4. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    pour le work chronologically ça me semblait foutreux aussi, jvais essayer de changer
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #4
  5. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    et "as i would have done with ireland "ou "for ireland" ?
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #5
  6. Offline
    Sigmund Philololologue
    je dirais "with" :)

    Sinon, une idée qui m'est venue comme ça: tu mettrais pas ton texte au "futur" à la place du conditionnel?

    de un, ça montrerait que t'es confiant en toi (genre que tu vas avoir son slot de mémorant)
    de deux, ça te permettrait de jongler entre will et going to, alors que là il y a quand même relativement beaucoup de "would"
    Sigmund, 11 Novembre 2009
    #6
  7. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    justement je voulais pas paraitre trop présomptueux mais c'est pas con. je vais reflechir.
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #7
  8. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    ok, mis au futur et prochainement envoyé. merci pour tout !
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #8
  9. Offline
    Le_Pev Elite
    Comme le disait le titre d"une chanson "Its just me, myself and i" :-D Tu utilises énormement la première personne. I would do this, i would do that. C'est tres lourd. Hors la majorité de tes phrases peuvent etre tournée de façon a l'éviter.

    Pour une lettre aussi importante pour toi, dors dessus une nuit.

    Exemple :

    The work would be divided in three parts. The first part would look for articles in various Irish newspapers dating from before the first referendum in Ireland, and compare their views on it. Their opinion and their political orientation will be compared. They may have influenced the Irish citizens in their decision to reject the treaty.

    The second part would be an analyzis of more recent Irish newspapers and compare them to the older ones, in order to see what has changed between 2007 and 2009 in the opinion of the Irish media. It can be assumed that the economic crisis may have influenced the decision of the people. A link between these events could emerge.

    In the third part a collection of articles from British newspapers would be analyzed to see if they were more favorable to the treaty than in Ireland, as the country has always been eurosceptical. Again the content of the articles depending on whether the newspapers are left- or right-wing orientated would be compared, as it would have been done with Ireland. A chronological sequence would be used.

    Bon courage.
    Le_Pev, 11 Novembre 2009
    #9
  10. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    oops, bon conseil en effet mais déjà envoyé : /

    merci quand même, j'y penserai à l'avenir.
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #10
  11. Offline
    Sigmund Philololologue
    i'll keep my fingers crossed

    tu nous tiens au courant hein!
    Sigmund, 11 Novembre 2009
    #11
  12. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    héhé ouais t'inquiète :)
    buchiste, 11 Novembre 2009
    #12
  13. Offline
    plusdebrol Elite
    Evie aussi "proposition", j'ai dit cela aux USA un jour et ils m'ont tous rigolé au nez.......ça a une connotation sexuelle
    plusdebrol, 12 Novembre 2009
    #13
  14. Offline
    plusdebrol Elite

    edit ah zut déjà envoyé...bon ben good luck alors:D
    plusdebrol, 12 Novembre 2009
    #14
  15. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    ah j'ai changé en project ça, suivant les bons conseils de Sigmund :p

    merci quand meme !
    buchiste, 12 Novembre 2009
    #15
  16. Offline
    buchiste Chops from Outerspace
    (...) you have sent me a very convincing topic, and I can tell you
    already at this stage that I shall have no problem in accepting it. You may
    be taking on board a bit too much, and I'm not sure the third part will be
    necessary, but we shall find that out when you have prepared parts 1 and 2.
    I'm looking forward to a fruitful collaboration.


    Yeah ! Merci à tous :)
    buchiste, 24 Novembre 2009
    #16
  17. Offline
    Sigmund Philololologue
    nice la reply
    Sigmund, 24 Novembre 2009
    #17